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Fuck Up My Life

Writer's picture: Taylor McClainTaylor McClain

Updated: Feb 8, 2021

I'm gonna fuck up my life.

It's like a song really.

Everyday I wake and smell the fumes of deceit.

I walk down the stairs and breath it all in.

Isolation caused by me.


I thought my life would be flipped by someone I loved.

That I'd go from that teen rebel to a princess in a castle.

It's quite the opposite.


That's the funny thing.


I just want more friends.

Sometimes I feel like when they see me they hate what they look at.

Sometimes I feel its because you left.


Not the sweetness of Bubblegum.

But that comforting smell of him.


I still sleep with the blanket your mom gave me.

I cling to it tightly because I missed that freedom.

Driving in your car, music blaring.


I smell him still and it makes my heart weak.

I get scared of the smell now.

I'm so scared I could yell now.

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